Facebook Aunties

13 comments
It all starts like this.

First they bug their kids lives enough for them to grudgingly show them how to create a "facebook" and then answer questions like "Profile a?", "Wall a? What wall? Where's the wall?", so on and so forth. Then after a long pissed off session from their poor kids, they make them add photos of them dilly-dallying with other aunties in one of their oh-so-fun kitty parties, or their most recent pilgrimages where they pose with uninterested uncles, the kind of pictures that make you go green with envy!

Now, a few days have passed. They are getting comfortable or too close for our comfort, I can say. They are ready to fire their next salvo. Brace yourselves, because, they'll sit and send friend requests to all the unfortunate unmarried-and-therefore-lawless souls in the family with the sole intention of enriching their already super-cool lives with the mundane gossip of the young and the restless.

Now, final step in their vicious timepass strategy is, they scroll down the entire page, their eyes growing wider and wider, and then when the frenzy starts to get unbearable, they take their age old weapon in hand, the PHONE.

A sample conversation between my mom M and aunt S:

Ring Ring,

S (Aunt): M, nod dhya? (M is mom, nod dhya is did you see? )

Mom- What?

S: Tell Kee to open facebook, fast!

Mom- Kee, get your laptop and come here

Kee- No Amma, get lost..I will not get involved in your childish crap

S- No no, tell her that A has broken up with his new girlfriend (A is a cousin, the most famous, thanks to his ultra-promiscuous behavior. The last time I read his status message, it said, "If you have one wife, she'll fight with you, if you have two, they will fight for you, add wife, have a life!" with a winking smiley at the end)

Mom - Howda (Oh ya????), his status just a week ago read, "Lucky to be in love ❤ ❤ ❤ "

S- Didn't I tell you?..Do you think we should tell D? (D is another aunt, the poor mom of A)

Mom- Beda, Why should we interfere?..Wait I'm getting another call, Its D..I'll call you later..

D and Mom's call:

D: Hello, had breakfast?

Mom- Ya aagthaide, tell me (Ya going on..)

D: Nothing, guess what? I just saw B's party pics on fb..My god, she's lost it, I think she's drunk! (B is S's daughter, btw )

Mom- OMG! Blah blah blah blah!!

This goes on for about a never-ending hour. Then mom comes,

Kee, guess what? Blah blah blah blah blah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Facebook should ban aunties, ban them I say!

















Don 2 and the resulting rant

15 comments
I watched Don 2. And I say, it is a dabba movie.

Whenever I watch a movie and come, nobody asks me how it is, they just assume that I'd hate it anyway, I would like to tell all those jerks, "Yes, you are right!"
I will not like any movie in which Shahrukh Khan is wearing a fake rastafari-type hairdo and jumping out of buildings thinking, "Ohh Tom Cruise is jumping from Burj Dubai, lemme also jump from some building even though it is as unnecassary as my over-acting!"

I will not like any movie in which Salman Khan is called "Lovely Singh" and is kicking ten people in one go like a drunken monkey and I will also not like the fact that the same movie is hammed into a hundred languages, who knows maybe even in assamese!

I will not like any movie in which Aamir Khan copies a script from an adolescent book, not even give the author some credit and changes it in such a way that he becomes god, Wow! Aamir you are a genius! but no thanks!

I will not like any movie in which Ajay Devgan gangs up with any jobless actor available at that time and craps around thinking that he's funny. I'm sorry Ajay, stick to kicking people in the nuts, oh wait! Don't do that, its almost doubly unbearable!

I will not like any movie in which an in-the-waiting-corpse is made up so damn much that its cost eats up almost half the movie budget and made to strut around with another moronic giggling barbie, and I don't care how famous the corpse or the barbie is!

In short, I will not like any movie in which we are asked to "leave our brains behind and enjoy".
Listen Bollywood people! We cannot leave our brains behind. If you've tricked almost a billion people to do it and you think its working, it is only because they are frustrated and movies are the cheapest way to have a good time, so stop misusing their innocence and churning out crap every single weekend.

All I'm asking for is a sensible script, in which Aamir Khan is not allowed to manipulate.

And all those people who loved Don 2, please contact me if you have any problem with this post, I'll point out what pissed me off in every scene of the movie.

Disclaimer:
No offence to any of the actors mentioned above..
lol..
who am I kidding? Go ahead, take offense :D

Bombay!

1 comment



I always wanted to go to Bombay (Mumbai now, but eh!). Infact, when I was in school I always dreamt about running off from home to the city of Bollywood. Obviously, It didn't work out, so I ended up going there on a vacation. More about this in my new blog...


My Quarter Life Crisis

6 comments
I am really really pissed with the way this stupid world works. There was a time when it was at my feet, my wish was its command and it fuckin made me over confident. I thought I'll get any bloody thing that I want, no matter whether I deserve it or not, but these days it is just not happening! My career is in the drain, It doesn't seem like I have much of a life, I am not doing what I want to do, I don't know what I want to do. I'm completely, totally, royally messed up.

Will I always be like this?
What will happen of me?
Will I ever do whatever that is I wanna do?

All these questions and more, they haunt me every single day. These days I ignore them, I have thought enough about it, but what is the use? Life is supposed to be about self discovery, but it's taking a lot of time an driving me nuts!

I think I want to write, but I just can't start, I think I love to travel but sometimes its hard to take my ass off my couch, I think I love to code, Do I? I'm not sure.

I'm shit scared of commitment, whether it is to my job or anything else. I'm wired that way.
One day I want to write a book, one day I want to make a movie, one day I want to sit and code code code, one day I want to start a travel agency, one day a hotel and next day, I wanna be a social activist!

I just have to grow up, Isn't it too soon?

I'm drifting. Going with the wind, Should I just float and wait for the small things to make me happy or Should I figure out a way to be happy no matter what?

It is confusing.

I'm down here scraping the bottom. Yell, Shout out to me!

Tell me that the only way left is up. I have to climb up.

Is it? I hope so.

Is it just me or is there someone else like me?