In case you are one of the souls who thought my blog was worthy enough to visit, Hi there! (It seems like I'm waving to myself,well..), and have noticed that from the past week I have been flooding my blog with a cyclone of posts, let me tell you, it is because I'm jobless, as simple as that.
Now, please don't go into an overdrive thinking, "Oh my god! Didn't she mention somewhere that she is software engineer? Are they firing again? Is the RECESSION back??"
Maybe it is, I don't know. I can't make sense of the economic times sheet in the paper, it is the first page that goes under the chapathi-dough in my house. Anyway, the point is I'm on bench.
If you do not belong to the privileged IT-cattle class, I'm sure you must be thinking, "What bench is she talking about? Wooden bench? Why can't she just get down if she doesn't want to sit on it? Doesn't she have a bed or a sofa? What's wrong with this female?" and some such enlightened sparrow-shit, I don't blame you for it. You see, before I was ordained into this wonderful technologically superior community, I always used to imagine people sitting in front of their companies on the same wooden benches, with paper pads to doodle on and the hot sun to sweat in. Thankfully, now I know Bench is only mental torture and not physical.
You may wonder, like scores of my relatives who call up my home at ungodly hours like 1 o clock in the afternoon and when I pick up the phone, ask me suspiciously,
"No uncle, I didn't go"
"Didn't you bunk yesterday also?"
"How many holidays in a year do you get?"
"I'm on bench uncle, no need to go to office"
"Oh? And you get paid? Oh super maja!"
If you do wonder like this, then balls to you! Because of this ordeal of mine, those useless people Sanjay, ranjay, ajay, vijay, vijaya, sujaya, gujaya and all those monkeys will get promoted before me and Me! Poor me! will sit here and write shitty blogs which no one cares to read. Everyone'll get a 10-15% hike and me! me! If I ever go and ask them for a hike? They'll tell me sure, go ahead, take one..you don't have any work here anyway.
My friend Sheela asks me "Why are you so bothered about money anyway? You don't know what to do with what you've got". I ask her, "For what godly purpose, other than to make enough money so that someday we can wipe our asses with it, do we work in this holy industry? Please enlighten me". She cuts the call. Its dangerous to talk to me, I open closed doors and drag you inside with me and there'll be an emotional-psychological-chamak challo dance which you won't be able to bear. Now, you'll know better than to ask me such questions.
Yesterday, I looked to the sky and asked the universe questions like, "Why me god! Why me?" while lying on my bed playing angry birds on my phone. My mom threw the newspaper into my room. Not that she wants me to read it, I'm 25 you see, she can't mollycoddle me into reading a billion people's bull crap early in the late afternoon, You see, guests were there in the living room, she follows a cleaning principle that I've inherited.
"Out of sight, into any closet/room/drawer that is open"
You should try it sometime, it really works.
Anyway back to the newpaper, a quote caught my eye:
"When you can see there's a deadend, you'd better turn around"
- Naomi Judd
This is a cruder version of it, but heck! it gives the gist.
So I turned around, and closed my eyes. I slept like a baby after a looong time.
Thanks Naomi, good advice!