An average Bangalorean

20 comments
An average Bangalorean is a photographer, a writer, a filmmaker, a UPSC aspirant, a guitarist, a marathon runner, a chef extraordinaire. An average Bangalorean is also a software engineer.

An average Bangalorean is a Tamilian, a Telguite, a Bengali, a Bihari, or Assamese. Hell, he may actually be from Bangalore. He is not a stickler for his culture. He doesn't know his culture. He isn't hung up on his leaders or his heroes. His heroes are spread all over. He can accept either Rajinikant or Amitabh Bachchan as his hero, and has no qualms with replacing Rajkumar with them. An average Bangalorean is an amphibian. 

He sits at a table filled with people from different states fighting over a cup of tea or the effectiveness of this year's union budget. He knows nothing about it. That doesn't stop him from pitching in. An average Bangalorean thinks he is a smart ass. 

He slogs everyday for something he doesn't give a shit about, while passionately dreaming in the night about all the things he had to do, he should've done, he could do, he would do, he wouldnt do and he will definitely do in the near future.

He is a thinker, a believer, an analyser, he has the whole world in front of him, he is spoilt for choice, and yet paralysed by fear of the unknown. He is scared of something he cannot name, scared of losing unnecassary things that he has in abundance now.

He passed out of one of the thousand engineering colleges in Bangalore and ended up in one of the ten thousand IT companies that claim to be in Bangalore. He stays in Bangalore, and is immune to motion sickness. It is the law of the land.

An average Bangalorean cannot tell you the current season. He knows that the weather is as unpredictable as his life is predictable. He calls it irony.

An average Bangalorean has fallen in love once, and failed. Failed miserably. Once bitten, twice tried, thrice given up and finally, resigned to the parental choice. He meets prospective life partners every weekend, has coffee with them, mumbles incoherent things and runs away from there like his pants are on fire. He isn't ready. Or Is he? Or is he just waiting for someone's approval? Is he waiting for the push that has always been there?

An Average Bangalorean is always on the edge of a cliff. He has made a house there and refuses to leave. He always greets his friends with the same question, "When are you escaping from this dreaded hellhole?" and the average Bangalorean always retorts with the same answer, "Very soon, my friend, very soon". How can he leave the house that he took so much pains to build? He'd rather stay.

An average Bangalorean is a software engineer. 

Thank god I'm above average. I'm a senior software engineer.



PS: This is fictitious post. Both the Average Bangalorean and the above average one are imaginary, and so is the implied promotion. :) Enjoy!

20 comments:

  1. Congratulations! I like the 'average Bangaalorean' and ofcourse, the above average one too :) :D
    Was this post about your promotion? (or you were always a senior software engineer?) But, nevertheless, Congrats! :)

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    Replies
    1. No promotion..It was just a punchline..maybe I had to think before writing that line :D..Well!

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    2. Did you add the P.S. after my comment? :P :D

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  2. Why are there so many 'He's' in this article? I am sure it is applicable for 'she' as much as it is applicable for 'He'. I don't like gender discrimination :P

    Destination Infinity

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    Replies
    1. Im not a feminist..He/she doesnt matter..applies to all :)

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  3. LOL. So you are a Senior Average Bangalorean? ;)

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    Replies
    1. it sounds like senior citizen when u put it that way :D

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  4. Finally a post of yours where I didn't laugh at all. :D I couldn't identify myself with most of the things you said even though I was born and bred here (except for the UPSC aspirant part, which I am :D).

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    Replies
    1. Yeah..me too..thats y we are above average :D

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  5. No place for a punjabi in bangalore hmmm thats not right .. where will i go , I guess i will be below average then :)

    and i loved D.I.'s comment what about the SHE's life will be dull without the SHE's hana he he he he

    Bikram's

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    Replies
    1. No no..Punjabis are welcome, some of my closest friends are punjabis!

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  6. I believe each and every single word of this post except the PS part...in today's word...your post fits perfectly... :)
    I'm sharing it on my FB page... :)
    loved the post... :)

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  7. An average Bangalorean is a mixture of many communities mixed into one. Cool post, its a cob web out there!! Soon to be an average Bangalorean myself by next year:P

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  8. Every bit of it is so true.. Its like my life's story lol ;) Nice post! Kudos! I know you've been deprived of Kudos at workplace! :P

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  9. Whatay Timing...!!

    I am going to be joining the gangs and becoming an An Average Bangalorean from Monday..

    But isin't it now Bengalururuauau (something) ?

    Cheers,
    Shrijeet

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  10. I love this write up. Excellent and witty statements all over the place.

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  11. Ha haa.. you definitely ripped apart the average Bangalorean. And no one can paint a picture more vivid. Trust you to do full justice with your trademark humor. Reminded me of my Average Bangalorean days. They were crazy; they were fun.

    I think you won’t be far off if you even say: “An average South Indian or an average Indian is a Software Engineer.” ;)

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  12. postingan yang bagus tentang"An average Bangalorean "

    ReplyDelete

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