The curious case of Canara Bank and Kadlekai

One day in Canara Bank and yes, the day is done. It is finished, just like that, right before my eyes.

Like any responsible corporate citizen, I realised that "tax declarations" not just meant declaring whatever shit that you've got, but also actually investing them in real time. This dawned on me on the penultimate day, and what would anyone do? Scurry to the bank, that's exactly what I did, but scurrying need not necassarily mean getting things done, especially if the person involved is me, and the bank involved is of course, Canara bank.

Anyway,I enter the bank, with the whole amount that reaches the ceiling limit of the 80C category and walk past a contraption that is meant to issue me tokens, It hasn't worked right from day one. Like how they say, an old patient knows better than the new doctor, similar.

I take the form meant for "Tax saving FD" without looking up. I can fill the form with my eyes closed, haven't tried it though. With my eyes open, I need atleast two tries to get it right.

The woman looks at me, always a woman, she asks "Do you have an SB account?"
I point at the account number written.
"This is DVG Road account, you have to go there only and start your FD"
"Ma'am this is the last day, so please", I smile like a lost puppy.

She tells me I need to wait. I know it, that's why I bunked office.

She does some mumbo-jumbo and tells me If I deposit money in this godforsaken branch, I need to pay a commission of 110 bucks, I just lost it, Are these people freakin' kidding me? They use ledgers to write down things for god's sake!! Am I wrong to assume that with the click of a button funds can be transferred across countries but here, they want 110 bucks to transfer from one goddamn road to another!

What will they do with it?

Maybe they have a Money transfer boy, He comes in his blue-I'm-so-important-I-carry-money, He carries the money in huge sacks, Maybe he's paid 10 bucks per plastic cover to carry the money, maybe he got it from foodworld, I don't know.
Then he takes a rick, "Auto! DVG Road"
"50 Rs"
"Don't fear my boy, I have 110 bucks!, I'll give you sixty"
He settles in the backseat, his legs on the seat, he's paid a fuckin 60 bucks, he deserves to enjoy the ride. In between he sees a kadlekai vendor (groundnut, for the kannada-uninitiated), "Hey stop maga, I love kadlekai"
He goes to the kadlekai dude,"Machi 20Rs give?"
Gets a packetful of steaming Kadlekai, and is on his way to DVG road.
Takes my cash, goes to the cashier, "Aunty take this cash, 20 bucks remaining, I need it to go back home!"

All this is happening in my head, She asks, "Do you want to deposit here??"

"No, I have a whole day to spare, I might as well go there", I tell her bravely.

Maybe I'll have kadlekai on the way. I just saved 110 bucks.

PS: So, I don't get my kadlekai, My mom tags along 'cos she wants to close an account there. And, you know what happens? The woman who checks the "Pass book" actually asks my mom bring the cashier with her to verify something!!
My god! What kind of shit procedure is that?
And how do they write it?
Step1: Blah blah blah
step2:blah blah blah
step gazillion- bring cashier aunty to passbook aunty!
step gazillion+1: lose your mind

Going to Canara bank is to me like preparing to go on a forced-pilgrimage, I need 2 days to mentally prepare myself, I need to make my mind blank on the actual day to undergo the assault, and finally I need another 3 days to get over it!