Of Baba Ramdev, Black money and Uncle Scrooge

So I decided to do one world changing thing per day, and started by posting this as my fb status,

"If you have ever peed on the road or in your loo, if you have ever slept in the office or at home, if you have ever helped yourself or others, if you have basically ever done anything other than waste your whole life on facebook, then share this status and make people aware of deadly plague, who knows? It may return again."

Phew! I was a little tired after all this world changing behavior of mine, and I pulled my ass off the bed and came into the living room. Of course, I needed some rest and THE place for that obviously was the vast expanse of my sofa, and the generous comfort of the TV. Well, I was switching channels, and the best News channel in India, which used to carry all the updates of Bigg Boss 24*7 and now suffering from an empty nest syndrome, had caught on to something new (I was happy for them), It was Baba Ramdev. Apparently, a guy had tried to throw black ink at him. Of course, enraged by all "this non-hindutva, corrupt" behavior, Ramdev's supporters had bashed up this poor guy.

Okay, lets slow down a little bit here. This guy as per my ESP was just trying a method that every sixth grader uses to make his ink-pen work, he flops it around till it fountains on any of his neighbouring classmates, which is proof enough that his pen is working. Am I wrong here, or is the sole fault of this man, is that Baba Ramdev was somewhere in his vicinity when he was trying to make his pen work? Poor Guy, wrong place, wrong time. I'm just giving him the benefit of doubt, here.

As my mind was working overtime imagining all this,boom came a voice, from the innards of a black bearded jungle, so booming that even Hazare's camp felt endangered by all the camaraderie and flamboyance (Even Hazaar Hazare's can't compete with the flowing white salwar kameez, can they?). Anyway, coming back to the voice. It was spewing gyan, a dime a dozen. I could catch only a few of his gems, such as,

"It seems that the man was carrying acid" (OMG!)

"I don't blame any party for this"

"Lets ignore it and continue with the anti-corruption movement"

Okay, the last sentence made me go, "Whaaaaaaaaaaaat?"

First, of all, I didn't know the anti-corruption was still going on. I mean, (Lol!) It was a song-and-dance-mela while it lasted, but the party is over, isn't it? I mean, yes, I want the black money to be brought back and distributed among innocent victims like me, me and me. I mean who wouldn't want me to get the money? I've always wanted to swim in money like Uncle Scrooge. I tried doing it once by laying down all my life's savings. It seemed like a pebble path in a 2X2 feet wide algae-infested lake. Before I could lie on it and at least day-dream of swimming in it, my mom came and lifted the 3 Rs to pay the raddiwala. Spoil sport!

What were we talking about? Yes, Black Money! Do you know why the government is against black money and its "physical movement"? See, it is not against the money per se, but the phrase, "Black Money". It's racist, Isn't it?

The government is all up in arms against the social networking sites promoting racism, regionalism, hooliganism, lazi-sm, narcissism(I can't even spell it right) and god knows what other -isms social networking is creating! How dare you, go and call "illegally stashed" money, "BLACK" money?? I mean, it is so insensitive. We are in the 21st century, mind you!
Now, don't go blame the government, first change the name, then the government will do something about it!
How about "Maya money"? or "Sharad Money"? Just a few non-controversial examples.

Coming back to Ramdev, Problem Number two with him is, if he wanted to ignore it, why is he sitting and shitting about it all over national TV?

Anyway, as much as I wanted to sit and listen to India's first and the last surviving orang(e)utan pour out such wonderful pearls of wisdom, I had Big Bang Theory waiting on another channel.

So much for rest, Now my mind is spinning!