Mommy, Daddy and Madness

Of late, I've been writing a lot of posts about Schizophrenia, what can I do? I'm dealing with a lot of such people, including myself. Now, Its my parents turn.

I'm sick and tired of their multiple personalities. One day, they are like, "Kee, yaake? You are not going anywhere with your friends?" They become all Yo-momma and Dude-Daddy and force me to let my hair down and party. And, then I get all excited and keep on partying thinking why should I worry when Dude-Daddy is on my side?

Then one fine day, they go watch some Baghban type movies and realise that they are a family with "values", "aadar" and "culture". They pick up the phone. Meanwhile, I'm jiving to some remix of "I am a disco dancer", trying out all the mithunda steps that I secretly learnt from youtube and acting like I'm a natural in front of all my yo-friends. My phone starts ringing,

"I am a disco- HELLO-dancer!"

"El halagogidya?" (Crude translation: Where are you getting ruined?)

"Friend's house Amma"

"Sul helthya! Shut up and come back blah blah blah"

 and they start yelling like crazy. Suddenly, Daddy is no longer dude, more like Daddy Denzongpa and Yo-Momma now becomes Nirupa Roy Jr.

I tiptoe into the house and Mommy darling, with a serious look (Imagine: Amitabh Bachchan in Mohabbatein. I think he had a severe bout of diarhoea during its making, I mean his expression 
(singular) is priceless )

"What is this Kee? How can girls go out in the night like this? What will Sujatha Aunty think?", says Nirupa Roy Jr, with an almost crocodilishly teary eyed look.

By the way, Sujatha aunty is our neighbour who gapes into our hall from her kitchen window and relays all the information to the rest of our neighbourhood. Very nice lady..

Then comes Daddy Denzongpa's turn ,

"Ninge swalpanadru sense idya..how can you be so irresponsible! Blah blah blah blah blah"

"I'm not irresponsible blah blah blah blah blah"

I'm saying Blah blah blah because I don't  know what Danny-Daddy says after the first sentence 'cos it doesn't matter. Its just a shouting spree. Content doesn't matter, inspired by Bollywood movies, of course!

Anyway, this has been happening from the time I have been a kid.

Before I go further, let me tell you the tragically comic story of my life.

Long long ago, not very long ago, when I was born, my Daddy held me in his arms and thought, 'Oh! my wonderful daughter. She'll grow up to an Adarsh Nari. She will wear silk langa, put big bindi in her forehead, and run around the house with her anklets chiming, and uttering sweet words like, "Ok Daddy, whatever you say!'
Hindi serials were not that popular back then or else he'd have imagined me, at 20,climbing down the stairs while a sad sad music is playing in the background, wearing a cream-colored salwar suit, falling at his feet before going out everyday! Phew!

But god was cruel! He cut a raw deal with him. And Daughter Dearest grew up to be a boxer-short wearing, sight-of-bindi-shrieking, anklets? You've got to be kidding me!, and the only words I utter are, "No No No No No!"

Little does Daddy Denzongpa know that I am an extension of his own super-psychedness. It runs in the family.

Anyway, coming back to the story.

So, yesterday when they yelled at me during my team dinner, I thought I'll put an end to all this fighting. I'll make use of our latest technology and I decided to send a message from my android cell to my Daddy-Danny's reliance phone.

This is what I typed:

"Daddy, I just walked out of my team dinner because you were yelling. I know that I'm sometimes too much to handle, but please understand that I'm a responsible adult and can take care of myself"

Yes, I know its a big time senti message but my Dad is a sucker for it and I know tomorrow morning after reading the message, he'll come, running and hug me, with tears in his eyes, full filmy style.

If they are Daddy Denzongpa and Nirupa Roy Jr, then I'm Don Kee! (In case, it struck you, you are a Donkey, not me!)

After all, Daddy Denzongpa is 90% of the time Baghban ki Amitabh and Mommy Nirupa is more like Johny Lever.

PS: None of the filmy stuff happened. I couldn't control any longer and cursed my mom and dad aloud for making me miss a full course FREE meal.

Aah Well!