5 simple steps to make your blog world famous!

58 comments
Okay, did the title catch your attention?

Then job well done! Now that you are here, continue reading :P

If I knew how to be world famous, wouldn't I be? So it is your fault that you are here, don't blame me!

I have been writing a lot of shit these days. It's still february and there are already 14 unbearable posts in my archives. So, you may think that I'm very jobless, but I'm sorry to tell you that I'm no longer on bench. I'm back to work, very busy, I tell you.

But you may wonder, if she really has work, how the hell is she getting time to write another post telling how she has work now. If she were as busy as she claims to be , she should be clicking away on some molested mouse in some congested cubicle, off Sarjapur road (You may not have thought this much about one sentence, but I'll give you the explanation anyway).

Let me clear your doubts, I'm in a project now (yes I am) But thank heavens that the corporate industry is designed in such a way that it seems like every single ant inside the office has work to do, mails to write and meetings to attend. The key word is "seems". Did you get my point? I'm trying to keep things subtle here, please cooperate.

I'm sitting in the same congested cubicle, by the way, using an amazing proxy that my frenemy gave (God bless her) and typing away to elusive glory. Since, I'm in office today, and I've decided that this place is going to be my most favorite place in the whole world*, I've decided to write about office.

*Conditions apply: When armageddon strikes and the rest of the world is destroyed except for office, it will be my most favorite place since there is nothing else. You may wonder why the office won't be destroyed when everything else is. You see, you dungbeetle, It cannot be destroyed. There is a plan, BCP: Business Continuity Plan. I’ll explain, you see, it is built on one simple concept “Even if it is the end of the world, even if people are dying, even if you are torn into shreds by a tsunami or half-dead in a terrorist attack,even if you are in the middle of your own wedding or in an ICU dying, Business has to continue, doesn't matter if its from your hospital bed, marriage hall, mars or pluto or ursa major or minor or sub-junior, wherever!”

On second thoughts, I'd rather die violently in the armageddon

Anyway, I'm going off track now. Mostly because its 2:30, just had lunch now. and came in for a work break. Work break?? Yes, Let me explain. You see, Office is like day time television, On TV you watch programmes between advertisements and In office, you work between morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea, evening tea, afternoon siesta, refreshing walks, loo-time, and frequent visits to the office clinic.

Yes, it is very tiring.

Sometimes, it is mind boggling too. My colleague at lunch was remarking about the remarkable power of the Indian Judiciary for revoking some 122 2G licences. So I asked him, "What's the use? Isn't the money that's gone already gone?" Of course, being an archetypal realist, thats what I call myself, not sure what it means, but it sounds cool, I have the inborn itch to question anything and everything. He told me that I find faults in all the things under the sun, and the best career option for me would be a newspaper proof reader. I asked him to read my blog, I have no patience to read my own posts, why the hell will I go cleaning someone's else's crap?

Speaking of lunch (Yes, this whole discussion happened at lunch, that's why I said speaking of lunch, read the last para again), Today there was a Tandoori festival at one of the counters in our cafe. Is your mouth watering? Wait till you here the menu, you'll come drooling.

This is what they advertised:

Tandoori Roti

Aloo tikki

Hariyali Chicken

Palak Paneer

Veg. Biriyani

Kheer

Food Festivals are fun, not for us, for the caterer. He makes atleast ten times the money he usually does. We are eternally hopeful people,we always go to the counter peep into every vessel, check the color, the odour,and every apparently visible characteristic of each dish. We take a step back, and think "This time it is looking good. Let me try it. " So we pay the 25 bucks, We think 'What a steal!', come back to our tables. One spoon in our mouths and our smiling faces turn into expressions fit for an indigestion ad.

This is what we ate:

Rubber Roti

Squishy Green Goop

Salmonelly Chicken

Some more squishy squashy

Yellow Colored Rice

Sugar Water

I mean, is it our fault that we are paying 25 bucks for a full meal, and expect the Oberoi buffet on our plates. We thrive on hope, that is the only thing keeping us alive and these caterers, they know and exploit our weakness.

I have one more office story, infact many more, but not now, time for a tea break! :D

PS: All those who think that I resorted to cheap tactics by luring you people here with the false promise of the misleading title, I am just emulating our noble netas! Is it my fault if I want to be a great leader one day? These are my baby steps, support me :)


58 comments:

  1. lol....join politics IMMEDIATELY i vote for u :D

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    Replies
    1. Really?..that means we haven't learned our lesson :D

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    2. are you aware of Telugu movie director Puri Jagan ?? He delivers movies so quick without much effort.. you r just like him.

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    3. Yes i know him..its not the quantity that matters, but the quality..don't know where i stand there :P

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    4. Wow! Diplomatic eh? :P..thanks neway!

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  2. I say, you are enjoying your free time very well... oh sorry...your busy time very well..I mean!

    Talking of free time..I think there are very few who are as vella as me. Almost always out of work. That, when I am in the project. I post almost everything from office. And to top that, I am onsite. Beat that!! :D

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    1. Omg! you are a bigger chor than me! :D

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  3. Wow... nice trick! :)
    And great post. Am happy I reached here...

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    Replies
    1. thank you..i hope there are others who feel in a similar way..they shouldn't come n strangle me :D

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  4. Lol... For a moment i thought you became a thorough *Professional* blogger! I am still thinking of who the client is :D

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    1. Don't think..do u want me to lose my job? :D

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  5. I kept going back and trying to count the five steps, but gave up after three or four attempts. No way you can be called caught cheating! Enjoyed the post.

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    1. hehe :D..nice trick know?..c how i come up with such nonsense!..

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  6. LOL :P
    if you write such posts in future, you will be world famous :P
    Dee..

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  7. What was the title??
    So from now you are a politician along with being a blogger. ;)

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  8. Aahhh.. The Good Old days when I used to blog in office.

    It was during one of those days, that I concluded that people like you , me and the millions of others (IT Mazdoors) are actually Professional Writers..

    See here: Am I a professional Writer ?

    Cheers,
    Shrijeet

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    Replies
    1. In my current role, I don't even get to write code, damn it! :(..I need to sit and click, how's that?

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  9. ha ha menu seems awesome rubber roti with sugar water :)......
    I u ever become a Neta i wll surely vote u..India lacks cheeky NETAS , d old poker faced mealy mouthed Netas they r just disgusting :)
    happy blogging at office time :)

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    Replies
    1. Wow!..many people want to vote for me :P..thanks!

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  10. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your blog!!!! Want to be here forever....can I?

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you..please be here as long as you please :)

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  11. Amazing post, loved the title though :P

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  12. Hahaha! Awesome post :D :).
    Extraordinary title :P.
    See now that I visited your blog, it became "MY WORLD" famous :D ;).
    See what I did there? :P :D.

    Anyways nice way to utilize the time :D.
    I just wish my teacher would let me open my blog in my school :P :P.

    Hehe!!
    Keep writing :) :D.
    Great work!
    Cheers!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Poo..i have been going through a lot of shit these days and I need such comments to keep me going..:) Thanks a lot!

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    2. Ahh!! Life and its mystery!! Hmm! It happens :).

      You are welcome :).
      I'm glad I could help :)

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  13. Hilarious! :D
    Lol, you confused me for an instant!:P
    (The description on indiblogger was quite luring though ;) )

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  14. I have read the both the posts, in no way is this plagiarism! People have written blogs inspired by my topics, I do not get offended or go on a rampage. Sort this out.

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    Replies
    1. I don't even know which post he's talking about. I'm thinking what I can do..

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  15. LOL! This post made me laugh! Mouth watering menu and eye ball catchy title! Congrats! You won the crowd-pulling game! :)

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    1. Thanks Jen :)..Welcome to my blog :)

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  16. That was just rip-roaringly funny! Reminded me of some of my office exploits. :)

    My full support for your ambition to be a great leader. :) But your amazing sense of humor makes you remarkably overqualified to be a neta! :P

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    1. Thank you Raj :)..but Netas are also very funny, laloo, mayawati :D

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    2. Err... I guess they are funny unintentionally! ;)

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  17. Yes the title got me .. i was thinking here we go another way of making my blog populare but alas :)

    and all the food menu I love it .. can have One of each please as soon ....

    and hey you have learnt very quick from the neta's .. way t ogo oo

    Bikram's

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    Replies
    1. If only I knew how to make my blog famous! :D..

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  18. Dropped by your blog after being deceived by the title. Anyways! That was worth a visit. Liked it! Particularly the line 'molested mouse, congested cubicles', and the PS.

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    1. Thanks Cartic..come back for more :D

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  19. Hahhaha…the title DID get me. The lunch menu also got me…coz am a Delhiite living in Mumbai :-|

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    Replies
    1. Yeah..I know the plight of people who stay away from their homes!

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  20. There is a quote - "If you find yourself with the majority, its time to have a serious re-look at what you are doing". Since the majority of Bangaloreans do what you do, maybe you should become a rock climbing instructor? Think seriously about it... :)

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  21. Excellent humor
    "Squishy Green Goop" would be a very close description of the thing, I guess!
    You can also pay some extra Rs.60 to get a stale pizza!

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    Replies
    1. Hehe..60 bucks for a pizza is a good deal, stale or not! :D

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  22. My god you actually crap and lured everyone ;)
    haha
    But very true corporate scene ;) People crib but still they work coz they don’t have an option

    Love
    http://www.meghasarin.blogspot.com

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  23. Thanks for such a wonderful article! It helped me a lot in improving my knowledge.

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  24. Nice one, and I agree with you. Great and rich content plus knowledge in reader will make your blogging life successful.

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  25. Replies
    1. For bcming a politician??..lol.thanks!

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  26. First time here and enjoyed reading this. (mainly because the experience is common) At least you have a cubicle, I sit in between two cubicles in the gangway, and as I am blocking the way the gangway is closed so I get all the privacy (ingenious idea)
    As for the food festival, I first look at the facial reactions of others and then flip a coin (to make it doubly foolproof)
    Then coming to the next point...... wait a minute, why am I writing all this here, I might as well as write this as my next blog post.

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    1. Yes, do that..:D..Thanks for visiting :D

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