Theatrical Antics

I kept thinking this past week, what do I write about? I didn't want to write my usual stuff, interconnecting nonsense which ends up making no sense at all. So I thought, what is the one thing which I have experienced enough to write a whole post about. It took me a lot of effort, thinking about one thing. Wait, do you know why I jump from one topic to another so fast that you start thinking what the hell is she blabbering about? I think its ADD, do you have any other opinion? Tell me, I'll listen, but do it fast.

Anyway, before I forget I'll tell you what I want to write about. Its about a theatre. This particular theatre, seductively called "Urvashi", situated in the saddest neighbourhood in central Bangalore has been my second home from god knows when. It is my favorite theatre. Mostly because it is the one of the last ones to sell tickets at the price of multiplex popcorn and it also has the forgotten "Gandhi class" which sells tickets at the price of the same multiplex's parking. Sweet deal, isn't it?

The earliest memory I have of this place is when my parents had taken me there to watch a Mani Rathnam movie called "Iruvar", it was a tamil movie. Let me explain to you the atrocity of this situation. Firstly, I was in the 3rd or 4th standard, secondly, It was a bloody complicated movie! and thirdly, it was in Tamil. Here I was, a confused little soul struggling with Kannada, telugu, english and damn Hindi (This language I learnt only due to peer pressure!), and now my parents were torturing me with Tamil. I was like, "Are they f**** kidding me?" Of course,I didn't know the f word then, you can substitute it with the appropriate kid vocabulary.

Anyway, I'm going off track again. So they took me to watch this movie, it was very confusing, like I said a hundred times before. Finally, the moment I always waited for back then came, it was the "Interval". I had a  mantra, the moment the lights went on, I'd look at my dad and scream, "I want pepsi and popcorn", doesn't matter he'd already wasted money on the ticket for this dumb kid who couldn't make sense of the movie, now he has to pay for junk food too. I'm never taking my kids to the movies. Again, going off track, somebody come, slap me and make me stick to the story. So, where was I? Yes, the interval. As we were waiting for my dad to get the afore mentioned junk, my mom unfortunately met a friend of hers in the seat next to mine. They exchanged the usual unnecessary hi-hello pleasentries, and started discussing about the movie.

I suddenly said, "Why is the hero raping so many women?"

Can you imagine a mom's reaction when her 10 year old daughter says this in front of her friend? Enough said.

Poor thing, she was so embarrassed. No one spoke after that. Strangely, I kept my mouth shut too. Very few things in life have had that effect on me.
This theatre has also acted as my language school, Thanks to my Dad's undying love for Tamil cinema, I can now speak decent tamil. I can imagine some of my friends scoffing at this sentence, I choose to ignore them

Years and millions of movies later, one day, as usual I was in front of Urvashi again. This time with my friends, and this time for a horror movie. Let me tell you, I have never ever watched a horror movie in my life, I'm shit scared. So "Bhooth" released, and I thought "Okay, let me give it a try". So, off we went and for the first time in our collective lives, we grudgingly bought a Balcony ticket, My friend lamely justified, "Horror Movie Kane, effects irathe, Gandhi class alli baralla". Who can argue with so sensible a sentence? we bought the tickets. The theatre was eerily empty. Strange, I thought as I entered. We sat in the top most row, eagerly awaiting to be awestruck by RGV's assault on our brains. An ad for another movie started playing, it was an English movie, had all sorts of weird, absurdly colored people doing some insane things, I turned to my friend and said, "Will you ever watch such a sickening movie?", She made a pukish face. So, this ad kept on playing way too long for our comfort. Hello, I had come here to see Urmila and her now-famous Bhooth and these people were playing some nonsense. It went on and on, long enough for me to rise up and ask the lone teenage boy who was sitting in our row, "Why are they playing this movie? We are supposed to be watch Bhooth right?" Without lifting his face from the screen, He said, "No, this is X-men 2". We went running back to the ticket counter, and then saw a small board in a stupid corner proclaiming "Morning Show- X Men 2, Daily Show- Bhooth". We tried to sell the tickets back to the counter guy, please don't guess what happened with that. We sat eating popcorn for the next two hours. (All X-men fans, I can see your eyes popping out)

That was the last day we bought balcony tickets in that theatre, We decided it was cursed.

A few years later, fate brought us again together. Me and Urvashi, that is. My engineering college was two roads away from the theatre. I think I have watched every stupid movie that released in the damn place, Hey baby, Delhi 6, Hello, Tara rum pum, and other unmentionables.

But my best experience in that place, I have saved it for last.

Hold your breath, this is the theatre where I watched two masterpieces of Hindi Cinema, back to back, one after the other, same day. Do you know why I'm stressing on the phrase, "Back to Back" so much?

Because the classics were, Saawariya and Om Shanti Om!


How did I not go psycho after that? Oh wait, I was one even before watching those movies.

PS: I can stick to one topic :)