Are you a "faster" or not?

Now Modi is fasting.

What is with this fast? Everybody who's anybody is related to the fasting wagon, you are either on it or off it. Like how you are either a muggle or a wizard.

Ask yourself this question, Are you a "faster" or not?

But how do you decide?
Fear Not! Help is here.

Given below are some of the common characterstics of fasters, based on a study conducted by the FAN-D(Fasters Association of Northern Dehradun)

1) A "faster" takes fancy to confined places. One of his short term goals is to go to jail, for a short time.

2) He is very moody. One day, he's fine with all the religious crap going on around him, next day, he gets all secular.

3) A faster has a group of fasters along with him, who are ready to fast at the drop of a hat.

4) A faster fasts unto death. or unto the time somebody takes him to the hospital and forcefully injects glucose into his body. Sometimes, the time period may vary. It may also last from late morning to early afternoon, depending on the media coverage of the event.

5) A faster should be very careful. There are fast-crashers who may come in flaunting their yoga bellies and try to take unwanted credit.

6) A faster's career is very unstable. It shines in a short period of time, where everyone including Sachin Tendulkar and Rakhi Sawant is supporting your cause, carrying candles and matchsticks and what not around town, and then boom, one bomb blast happens in the national capital and soon, you are forgotten.

7) A faster needs patience. Usually, a fast is real slow. It sometimes gets boring, so they have to be open to all kinds of entertainment, including dance performances by former-lady cops and dialogues by buddha-actors.

8) A faster can be famous or relatively unknown. He can support a cause or purport one. He can either be educated or as illiterate as a cow There is no eligibility criteria in India to be a faster, this is primarily to give a chance to our wonderful politicians who are the archetypal heads of this society.

9) Most importantly, a faster should be talented enough to make the people forget about the actual cause and dilly-dally in huge playgrounds for days at a time. Its not a difficult task, believe me!

When you exhibit some of the charaterstics stated above, the FAND will search for you and induct you into their secret society, it is in the same league as the Freemasons or the Illuminati. You will be discovered, and probably a reality show will be made based on you, when the fizz starts to fizzle out. So be prepared, cause the fasters are coming and they are furious!