Facebook Aunties

It all starts like this.

First they bug their kids lives enough for them to grudgingly show them how to create a "facebook" and then answer questions like "Profile a?", "Wall a? What wall? Where's the wall?", so on and so forth. Then after a long pissed off session from their poor kids, they make them add photos of them dilly-dallying with other aunties in one of their oh-so-fun kitty parties, or their most recent pilgrimages where they pose with uninterested uncles, the kind of pictures that make you go green with envy!

Now, a few days have passed. They are getting comfortable or too close for our comfort, I can say. They are ready to fire their next salvo. Brace yourselves, because, they'll sit and send friend requests to all the unfortunate unmarried-and-therefore-lawless souls in the family with the sole intention of enriching their already super-cool lives with the mundane gossip of the young and the restless.

Now, final step in their vicious timepass strategy is, they scroll down the entire page, their eyes growing wider and wider, and then when the frenzy starts to get unbearable, they take their age old weapon in hand, the PHONE.

A sample conversation between my mom M and aunt S:

Ring Ring,

S (Aunt): M, nod dhya? (M is mom, nod dhya is did you see? )

Mom- What?

S: Tell Kee to open facebook, fast!

Mom- Kee, get your laptop and come here

Kee- No Amma, get lost..I will not get involved in your childish crap

S- No no, tell her that A has broken up with his new girlfriend (A is a cousin, the most famous, thanks to his ultra-promiscuous behavior. The last time I read his status message, it said, "If you have one wife, she'll fight with you, if you have two, they will fight for you, add wife, have a life!" with a winking smiley at the end)

Mom - Howda (Oh ya????), his status just a week ago read, "Lucky to be in love ❤ ❤ ❤ "

S- Didn't I tell you?..Do you think we should tell D? (D is another aunt, the poor mom of A)

Mom- Beda, Why should we interfere?..Wait I'm getting another call, Its D..I'll call you later..

D and Mom's call:

D: Hello, had breakfast?

Mom- Ya aagthaide, tell me (Ya going on..)

D: Nothing, guess what? I just saw B's party pics on fb..My god, she's lost it, I think she's drunk! (B is S's daughter, btw )

Mom- OMG! Blah blah blah blah!!

This goes on for about a never-ending hour. Then mom comes,

Kee, guess what? Blah blah blah blah blah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Facebook should ban aunties, ban them I say!


  1. what happened ya?? Aunties are running facebook and you want to ban them?? haha..

  2. @Sheela- Then what..every family function they do facebook gossip..thale novu!

  3. facebook is dangerous, very very dangerous :D. i have stopped using facebook coz ppl do not comment on pics and other stuffs, they take it to the next level and have a group discussion on that :D

  4. awwwww poor u!!!
    My mother is on facebook and my little brother helps her stalk me :/

  5. LOL...Their agenda seems to sabotage the lives of the young and the restless. Why ban them, they provide humor to our ever dried lives?

    Even gossip mongers are going hi-tech:)

  6. Not sure whether I am in the Aunty category but I have blocked newsfeeds from all my students :p

    I am in lurvvv....Cho chweet....Dil hai ki mantaa nahi...Sighhhhh...


  7. @Redhanded- These brothers are all the same, but in my case, its the opposite, I help my mom to stalk my bro :)

    @Saru- Yes they are :)

    @Purba- Oh yeah, all that and more!

  8. hahaha...facebook is definitely becomming the new age matrimonial (for losers).and everyone seems to be checking out potential var vadhu's on there.Its irritating---this violation of our right to waste time with the sole intent to err..well, waste time..shucks! :-|

    ohh and yes "matrimonial aunties" should be banned from using social networks (im specifying 'matri' here because i know a lot of cooler members of the so called 'aunty' generation too, who have joined facebook with the same intention as we---ofcourse to while time. for which they are most welcome :D)
    ..and so should the people who introduced them to facebook..sigh!

    P,S: sorry for the extra long comment---im just whiling away my time..facebook is down today :-|

  9. @Pri- Yes, yes we can forgive such aunties, maybe..poor things, they must be bored at home too..and u know what evern i do matrimonial research on fb..i know its loser type,but still u get to kno a lot of things from there :D..aah! the pleasures of arranged marriage :P

  10. @Chintan, Ashwini and all thoes whose comments I deleted like a fool, by mistake- I'm so dumb!..sorry! :(

  11. Oh this is so much on the rise... my entire family is on facebook... The only person left out is my dog... he is probably considering it, given the fact tat i am away from home and he would like to stalk me too... That's what facebook has become!!!

  12. hahhahahahhahahhahahhaa.....o god!! too funny! :D

    Ban Aunties , I say!!!


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