Facebook Aunties

It all starts like this.

First they bug their kids lives enough for them to grudgingly show them how to create a "facebook" and then answer questions like "Profile a?", "Wall a? What wall? Where's the wall?", so on and so forth. Then after a long pissed off session from their poor kids, they make them add photos of them dilly-dallying with other aunties in one of their oh-so-fun kitty parties, or their most recent pilgrimages where they pose with uninterested uncles, the kind of pictures that make you go green with envy!

Now, a few days have passed. They are getting comfortable or too close for our comfort, I can say. They are ready to fire their next salvo. Brace yourselves, because, they'll sit and send friend requests to all the unfortunate unmarried-and-therefore-lawless souls in the family with the sole intention of enriching their already super-cool lives with the mundane gossip of the young and the restless.

Now, final step in their vicious timepass strategy is, they scroll down the entire page, their eyes growing wider and wider, and then when the frenzy starts to get unbearable, they take their age old weapon in hand, the PHONE.

A sample conversation between my mom M and aunt S:

Ring Ring,

S (Aunt): M, nod dhya? (M is mom, nod dhya is did you see? )

Mom- What?

S: Tell Kee to open facebook, fast!

Mom- Kee, get your laptop and come here

Kee- No Amma, get lost..I will not get involved in your childish crap

S- No no, tell her that A has broken up with his new girlfriend (A is a cousin, the most famous, thanks to his ultra-promiscuous behavior. The last time I read his status message, it said, "If you have one wife, she'll fight with you, if you have two, they will fight for you, add wife, have a life!" with a winking smiley at the end)

Mom - Howda (Oh ya????), his status just a week ago read, "Lucky to be in love ❤ ❤ ❤ "

S- Didn't I tell you?..Do you think we should tell D? (D is another aunt, the poor mom of A)

Mom- Beda, Why should we interfere?..Wait I'm getting another call, Its D..I'll call you later..

D and Mom's call:

D: Hello, had breakfast?

Mom- Ya aagthaide, tell me (Ya going on..)

D: Nothing, guess what? I just saw B's party pics on fb..My god, she's lost it, I think she's drunk! (B is S's daughter, btw )

Mom- OMG! Blah blah blah blah!!

This goes on for about a never-ending hour. Then mom comes,

Kee, guess what? Blah blah blah blah blah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Facebook should ban aunties, ban them I say!