College Crazies or Office Loonies

"Aaah college life was the best"

I hear this sentence every single day in office. But when we were in college, all I used to hear was, "I can't wait to start working. You see how I'll blow my bloody money". Idiots, we were all!

But whatever it is, idiots like us make college fun.

Like every other class, mine too had a share of geeks, losers, wannabes and psycho people . Many times in the past, I have wondered if god had handpicked all the idiots and put them in one class. Mine.

It may be true. The realisation happened one extremely hot afternoon in the first semester itself. The fan was not working even after decorating the regulator with ten pieces of paper, which usually took only two or three pieces. So one boy, Shaktimaan tried to swing the fan by standing on the desk. You may think that Shaktimaan was trying to help people by doing this great deed, let me tell you that this boy kept doing it in every class for the next two days even though by one trial it was pretty sure that the fan would never work.

Shaktimaan was not alone. My class had lots of such specimens. There was one boy, who always used to wear a blue shirt with huge yellow flames whenever a college function happened. Every single time, blue shirt with flames. He had a very strange vocabulary too. He introduced me to words that I would never ever conceive could be possible in an Indian language. Till date I don't know what language he spoke in, maybe some long lost pygmy language. I'll give you some examples if you don't believe me. His typical sentence went like this,

"Dude what Mach this aayakudhi volavol"

I seriously don't know what aayakudhi and volavol mean, but this guy used it in every damn sentence. One vivid thing I remember about him is, how he unabashedly sang Avril Lavigne's "Complicated" in the same pygmy accent to a bewildered class during our trip. Scary, it was.

Then, there was another girl. My favorite.The only words that'd ever come out of her mouth were, "Its okay". Whatever you say, she says "Its okay", doesn't matter if its a question, answer or statement or an obituary or whatever. She once took my friend walking to another bus stop 1 km away just by saying those two magic words. How?

IO girl: "Devu, come with me to City Market stop"

Devu: "No, I get my bus from here"

IO girl: "Its okay. Come"

Devu: "No, I wont"

IO girl: "No its okay, come!"

And the cycle went on till my friend started believing it was logical to walk one km and then take a bus, she was hypnotised.  It seems that girl has managed to get a guy to fall in love with her. Lets not try and guess the strategy used.

Then there was A. He thought he was the dude of our class. Though coming from his mouth, it sounded more like "Dyude" and he used to do the most atrocious things. He once wrote a love letter to a junior. He asked me to proof read it for him. This is how it started,

"Hi da, I love you da
If you don't love me da, I think I will die da"

For people populating above India's midriff, "Da" is a common South Indian way to greet anyone from your extended family to your prospective family, albeit of the same age group. Don't go and call your future FIL, "Ennada Sollada Koli motte thinnada", You may get kicked in the shins.

By the time I got to the end of the letter which spanned around three pages, I was overdosed da and I didn't know what to tell him da and the girl rejected his proposal da, and he still cries about it da.

I was no better. I thought people who had a habit, any kind of habit, smoking, drinking or whatever were cool. So I thought of a more harmless habit, chewing gum. I used to chew gum all the time, thinking I'm some super cool rowdy girl of my class. My lecturer used to yell at me and make me spit it out every day. I hate gum. I don't know why I used to do it. Mad, I was.

All of us, when we enter the corporate world, we take a rebirth. We turn into formal wearing, shoe-polishing, tie wearing, meeting attending bloody bootlickers!

Aaah college life was the best!