***Softman returns, this time in the form of Vinay..for a higher dosage of softman, please check out
Softman and the manager, Chronicles of Softman***
I take little Anna in my arms. I feel pukish calling my baby that. I laughed at that article last week in TOI and now my damn baby is called Anna. Believe me, it was not my idea. In some foolish romantic moment I had given Vinay the freedom to name our kid whatever he wished and now, I so regret it.
I tried arguing with Vinay, still in the process, I will not give up. I'll be strong.
He has convinced me to go to freedom park with him in some silly hope that I'll get so inspired by all the hullabaloo and I myself will name my kid Anna. I don't know about inspiration but I heard Lakshmi aunty from next road say that they are selling very good pani puri in one of the stalls there. Oh how I love pani puri! I have been forbidden from eating all junk food ever since the fateful conception. Maybe, I'll jump off his guard and polish off a plate today.
He is honking. Always impatient. He's wearing his striped blue shirt that Chimpu mama gifted on our 1st year wedding anniversary. He looks dapper. Though he's getting a slight paunch, its nowhere close to my kangaroo pouch. We've planned to leave the baby in Mom's house as we head out. I'm sick and tired of his uncontrollable weeping. Maybe he knows his name already. I don’t know how many times I’ve to stress on the fact that no self respecting kid should be forced with that name. All I can do now is to manipulate him to change it to Ankit or Anish or something after this whole drama dies down. Sometimes I fail to understand Vinay, he's doing all this anticorruption activism, even going to rallies on weekdays when he has to be sleeping at his desk or eating in the cafeteria like a good ol' software engineer has to, seriously I've never seen him get so involved in anything. For god’s sake, the man takes even sex so casually, it took us a good 4 yrs to seal the deal even though I'd so deviously tried to avoid all types of contraception. Maybe its that Amit's doing, all he ever talks about is the government anyway. He must have influenced him for sure.
We are stuck in Jayanagar now. Still a long way to go, maybe I should talk to him, but he'll think that I'm melting. No, this is just fine. No Anna for my baby.
"Why can't you just think about the greater cause for once? Why don't you want our son to be a part of this history that's being written?", He looks at me as we cross the red signal.
"Oh yeah? In that case you should've been named Indira Gandhi." I yell back, it made better sense in my mind. Am I losing touch? Snide comments, come out soon.
"Look I've explained to you many times. This issue is really close to my heart.Do you know how much I've suffered because of corruption? Do you remember my classmate, that bloody Bala, the one who wore a white safari suit to our wedding?"
"Ya, Of course who wouldn’t?, he looked like he jumped off midway from a Jeetendra movie"
"Yeah the same guy. We both had got interviews from the Karnataka Power Transmission Corp. The only two guys from our class. I was so excited. It was my dream job. 9 to 5 routine, which can be compressed to 11 to 3..free electricity, lifelong security, long tea breaks, zero coding, palm greasing etc..aah bliss, I thought, but then that stupid Bala, he paid some 3k bribe to some stupid agent and he got the job. I wish I'd known that agent. He has a lot of influence"
"Oh you poor baby, I didn't know there was such a tragic history behind this issue. It must've been difficult for you” I say sarcastically before adding,” but there is no way in hell I’m gonna let you make our son pay for that male Mohini’s fault."
"Why can't you support me for once? Don’t you know how hard I've been working for this campaign? I was up an entire night trying to write a program to automate the playlist that needs to be played during the next day's rally. You saw that blooper on TV9 know? The one where accidentally Sheela ki Jawani started playing in between? Everybody in my office is laughing at me now and those campaign people, they just scrapped off 500 lines of precious code without even consulting me once. Look Sunitha, I'm really stressed. I need this to know that I'm really helping the nation to cure the evil that is corruption!"
"I don't know. I will not let you do this. No No NO!!"
"Okay, look”, He makes a face that he usually does when he’s at Shanta aunty’s house and she’s forcing him to gobble up all thats left on the table, “I didn't wanna tell you this because you'll freak out but listen, I'm doing this because I need to do something. Amit's almost on the verge of quitting so that he can attend the fast without interruption, Varun has organised a cycling rally in ITPL, Ramya is planting some random seeds in our garden and calling it the "The green Anna movement", I have got to do something! "
"What?? Why?"
"Because...because, I don't know what else to do. Everybody is talking the same shit, its like it is not enough nowadays if you are sitting and pretending to work. You've got to pretend to something outside of work also and the worst part is you've got to pretend to be passionate about it. That is how it is, otherwise there is no use. Manager will ask me during the annual review what I did for our nation to deserve the promotion. What'll I tell him? Have you forgotten the IT industry?"
"Ya, you are right. Why can't you just write a proper code to automate that horrid playlist?" Immediately, I find myself laughing at that statement.
"Shut up. Very funny. Okay anyway, lets make a deal. We'll call him Anna for sometime, let it be a nickname. I know it sounds funny. People may ask, yaaranna? (Who's brother?) but atleast the humiliation will be limited to our house. Lets decide what to name him when he goes to school, okay?"
"I can't believe you are doing this to your son for an appraisal that you are not even sure of"
"Just think about it Sunitha, if I do this then I outshine everyone. Babies are way cooler than any fast, or cycles or plants. That Manager will definitely be eating out of my hands"
"Hmmm"
"Besides, remember that diamond necklace you were drooling at the other day in Chemmanur? I was thinking maybe after the appraisal I can afford it"
"Wait, are you trying to bribe me?", I ask as hundreds of people surround the car. The rally is in full swing.
"What? Noo. Are you crazy? Get down now, we are here. Take those banners and flags from the dickey. I think I'm going to fast today."
Softman and the manager, Chronicles of Softman***
I take little Anna in my arms. I feel pukish calling my baby that. I laughed at that article last week in TOI and now my damn baby is called Anna. Believe me, it was not my idea. In some foolish romantic moment I had given Vinay the freedom to name our kid whatever he wished and now, I so regret it.
I tried arguing with Vinay, still in the process, I will not give up. I'll be strong.
He has convinced me to go to freedom park with him in some silly hope that I'll get so inspired by all the hullabaloo and I myself will name my kid Anna. I don't know about inspiration but I heard Lakshmi aunty from next road say that they are selling very good pani puri in one of the stalls there. Oh how I love pani puri! I have been forbidden from eating all junk food ever since the fateful conception. Maybe, I'll jump off his guard and polish off a plate today.
He is honking. Always impatient. He's wearing his striped blue shirt that Chimpu mama gifted on our 1st year wedding anniversary. He looks dapper. Though he's getting a slight paunch, its nowhere close to my kangaroo pouch. We've planned to leave the baby in Mom's house as we head out. I'm sick and tired of his uncontrollable weeping. Maybe he knows his name already. I don’t know how many times I’ve to stress on the fact that no self respecting kid should be forced with that name. All I can do now is to manipulate him to change it to Ankit or Anish or something after this whole drama dies down. Sometimes I fail to understand Vinay, he's doing all this anticorruption activism, even going to rallies on weekdays when he has to be sleeping at his desk or eating in the cafeteria like a good ol' software engineer has to, seriously I've never seen him get so involved in anything. For god’s sake, the man takes even sex so casually, it took us a good 4 yrs to seal the deal even though I'd so deviously tried to avoid all types of contraception. Maybe its that Amit's doing, all he ever talks about is the government anyway. He must have influenced him for sure.
We are stuck in Jayanagar now. Still a long way to go, maybe I should talk to him, but he'll think that I'm melting. No, this is just fine. No Anna for my baby.
"Why can't you just think about the greater cause for once? Why don't you want our son to be a part of this history that's being written?", He looks at me as we cross the red signal.
"Oh yeah? In that case you should've been named Indira Gandhi." I yell back, it made better sense in my mind. Am I losing touch? Snide comments, come out soon.
"Look I've explained to you many times. This issue is really close to my heart.Do you know how much I've suffered because of corruption? Do you remember my classmate, that bloody Bala, the one who wore a white safari suit to our wedding?"
"Ya, Of course who wouldn’t?, he looked like he jumped off midway from a Jeetendra movie"
"Yeah the same guy. We both had got interviews from the Karnataka Power Transmission Corp. The only two guys from our class. I was so excited. It was my dream job. 9 to 5 routine, which can be compressed to 11 to 3..free electricity, lifelong security, long tea breaks, zero coding, palm greasing etc..aah bliss, I thought, but then that stupid Bala, he paid some 3k bribe to some stupid agent and he got the job. I wish I'd known that agent. He has a lot of influence"
"Oh you poor baby, I didn't know there was such a tragic history behind this issue. It must've been difficult for you” I say sarcastically before adding,” but there is no way in hell I’m gonna let you make our son pay for that male Mohini’s fault."
"Why can't you support me for once? Don’t you know how hard I've been working for this campaign? I was up an entire night trying to write a program to automate the playlist that needs to be played during the next day's rally. You saw that blooper on TV9 know? The one where accidentally Sheela ki Jawani started playing in between? Everybody in my office is laughing at me now and those campaign people, they just scrapped off 500 lines of precious code without even consulting me once. Look Sunitha, I'm really stressed. I need this to know that I'm really helping the nation to cure the evil that is corruption!"
"I don't know. I will not let you do this. No No NO!!"
"Okay, look”, He makes a face that he usually does when he’s at Shanta aunty’s house and she’s forcing him to gobble up all thats left on the table, “I didn't wanna tell you this because you'll freak out but listen, I'm doing this because I need to do something. Amit's almost on the verge of quitting so that he can attend the fast without interruption, Varun has organised a cycling rally in ITPL, Ramya is planting some random seeds in our garden and calling it the "The green Anna movement", I have got to do something! "
"What?? Why?"
"Because...because, I don't know what else to do. Everybody is talking the same shit, its like it is not enough nowadays if you are sitting and pretending to work. You've got to pretend to something outside of work also and the worst part is you've got to pretend to be passionate about it. That is how it is, otherwise there is no use. Manager will ask me during the annual review what I did for our nation to deserve the promotion. What'll I tell him? Have you forgotten the IT industry?"
"Ya, you are right. Why can't you just write a proper code to automate that horrid playlist?" Immediately, I find myself laughing at that statement.
"Shut up. Very funny. Okay anyway, lets make a deal. We'll call him Anna for sometime, let it be a nickname. I know it sounds funny. People may ask, yaaranna? (Who's brother?) but atleast the humiliation will be limited to our house. Lets decide what to name him when he goes to school, okay?"
"I can't believe you are doing this to your son for an appraisal that you are not even sure of"
"Just think about it Sunitha, if I do this then I outshine everyone. Babies are way cooler than any fast, or cycles or plants. That Manager will definitely be eating out of my hands"
"Hmmm"
"Besides, remember that diamond necklace you were drooling at the other day in Chemmanur? I was thinking maybe after the appraisal I can afford it"
"Wait, are you trying to bribe me?", I ask as hundreds of people surround the car. The rally is in full swing.
"What? Noo. Are you crazy? Get down now, we are here. Take those banners and flags from the dickey. I think I'm going to fast today."
Hilarious! Poor Anna though ..
ReplyDelete@Sunil- thank you :)
ReplyDeleteNice first attempt. Keep at it! At least Anna is better than Stalin, Hitler, Mussolini -- names you will find in Tamil Nadu :D
ReplyDelete@Zephyr- Thank you :)..Please visit again..
ReplyDeleteGood one
ReplyDelete