Things to do

Can't a person not do anything ?

Everyone says do that thing do this thing,

Why can't I not do anything?

What is so great 'bout that something,

that I should leave behind everything,

and do only that thing?

And when I'm doing that something,

then I may think of another thing,

then should I leave that thing,

in the pursuit of the other thing?

And at the end of this vicious circle of things,

I think,

There's nothing!

Does this smell like your life?

Indians are so goddamn crazy 'bout movies that they even want a scripted life. Don't believe me? Read the scripts below and tell me you don't know hundred people who are doing the same thing and I'll take this off my blog.

Script1: (For a guy):

All is well till you are 15. Then comes the shit, "Oh my god! 10th standard, which tuitions are you going to? My son is going to Universal Academy. They have the best teachers", says the nosy neighbour aunty. Next thing you know, your dad's filled the admission form. You've never woken up at 5 in the morning but now you have to do it DAILY!! and guess what it doesn't end that year. Invariably, you are forced to enter science stream in your 11th unless you have brain-damage or you suffer from other brain related disease in which case, you can join commerce or arts, that too if your parents are kind enough. Again, two whole years of tuitions, tests, assignments and shitty exams. Finally, you cleared your exams, Ufff! Time to relax! NO!! The dreaded results come out. Then starts the search for the perfect engineering college( Medical is out of reach, too expensive, you hate biology and also you won't get the seat for obvious reasons).This process has many steps
           1) You start thinking your rank is pretty decent, then suddenly your frenemy calls up. He's got 200  ranks ahead of you, Shit!
           2) Somehow you recover from it, then you get to know your cousin has got a better rank. Oh my god! Parents are disappointed!
           3)Ok they also recover. Your dad goes to work. He tells everyone 'bout your paramveer-chakra-worthy achievement. Everyone, including the peon and the janitor, advises him 'bout which stream and college to opt for.
           4)Meanwhile, at home, you would've searched on the net, read through all the "knowledgeable" sites you know, and decided that Mechanical engineering is the way to go.
           5) Your dad comes home thinking Electronics is best for you. The rest, as they say, is history.
Ok all said and done, college starts. You realize that all the time convincing your dad 'bout the stream you wanted was a waste, b'cos first of all, it didn't work and secondly all streams are the same. They end you up in some software company, anyway. if you realize this fact soon then the four years will be the most blissful years of your life. Otherwise, you just waste time studying and suffering. I'm guessing you are Type 1( I don't care 'bout Type 2s. They are boring). After 100 internals, 75 tests and 10000 movies later, you graduate with decent marks and a 3 lac p.a job.
You are all excited. You first job,YOUR MONEY!. First time, your are moving out of your home. Most probably, you'll end up in Mysore*. You know what I'm talking 'bout. Else Bangalore*. but mostly, Mysore(training's there). You are all happy, the first week. Then the depression sets in and it never goes away. Then you mom calls, she tells you in the weakest of your moods to plan for higher studies if working is boring. Moms invented inception long before Christopher Nolan took his baby steps :). Anyway, an idea is planted. You start planning, give your GRE, somehow get the visa and head off to US. You return 3 years later with a fat salary and an even fatter you. You are married off to some goody two shoes desi girl who's most probably completed her BE working in the same company which you left before you went to US. Ah! the nostalgia. and then, what then, the story ends after marriage.

Script 2: (If you are a girl)
All of the above apply. Some minor changes are done to the script.
Instead of mechanical engineering, you may probably do computer science.
And, your mom plants the idea of marriage in your head instead of higher studies.
and after 2 years of searching for the perfect match while you are doing a thankless job at the software company, you realize you want to study further. Your parents don't agree. They want you to get married, Here they incept another idea. Why cant you marry an NRI? Hmmm interesting!... Guess what you are the girl marrying the guy in the script above. Okay, you are married. This story is over. After marriage, its different story. I don't have the mood to explain.

Disclaimer:
No offence meant to any commerce and arts students, you guys rock!





 

I hate you and I hate you more

This poem is for those who hold senseless grudges against people.


I demanded respect,
I thought I ought to get it,
After all the things I did for you,
You didn't even have the sense to talk to me well,
I said "I'll never speak to you again,
You are banished
from my life,
You cannot live without me,
You cannot survive",
That was ten years ago,
I remember vaguely,


Now when you pass by,
I see,
You are doing better than before,
better than me,
I don't know what to say,
Did my curse go unheeded by the gods that I pray so much to?
Did my words cause nothing but pain to me
and to you?,
Was I wrong in doing what I did that day?
No,
If given a chance I'd do it all over again


This is also for those who never learn that their grudge is useless and no one cares after a while.

I'm a girl and I hate weddings

I have been tagged!!
 I have to write 'bout how some common misconceptions have hounded the female sector of the society for long. I have to write 'bout atleast ten things that I have ever wanted to do or done that I'm not "supposed" to, as per the invisible book of gender biased rules which our society so graciously follows.

So here goes: This is my eye rolling list. Start rolling

 1) I hate weddings. Atleast the weddings that happen in the part of the country that I live in. South India. I hate that people have to wake up at unholy hours like 4 am in the morning to attend the holy business of matrimony. Even the food is so-so in SI weddings. I don't like weddings. They are boring.

2) I don't believe in idol worship. I'm a hindu. So I guess the 2 sentences sum up the shock value. My family is weirdly conservative. They are confused about the "rules" they have to "impose". Anyway, initially my parents used to get crazy when I didn't participate in any family poojas. Then they gave up. I like it.

3)I like to wear boxer shorts at home. My mom tells me to change when some unwanted relatives drop in. I won't. I love the look on their faces. "Oh my god!"..lol

4)I wore a frock to my cousin's wedding. When all the others wore sarees and stuff, I chose to wear a knee-length dress. It was a conservative South Indian wedding, but It didn't seem out of place. Everyone liked it.

5)I stood first in college 3 times in Electrical Engineering, considered a male dominated domain. I beat all my male counterparts! Yes!!

6)I learnt how to ride a bike before my brother did. I mean a geared one, not the gearless. I don't ride it though. Too heavy, but still :)

7) I have been to more than 4 all-girl tours in and around South India without supervision :)

8)Hmmm...Now I'm running out of things. its a unisex-ual world, there's nothing that guys do and girls cant.Okay,  I can't cook for nuts. I can make boost for myself, if thats any consolation.

9)I know more about cellphones and cars than one of my male friends. I'm not boasting, but I know more than atleast one guy :)

10) Finally, I'm 22 yrs old and I have never put on anything more than a moisturiser on my face till now. I hate make up.

Okay, those are my ten things. Thank you Sowmya for tagging me. Now if I don't tag some people, I'll be cursed to wear blue cloth pants and I'm glad I'm not a guy 'cos if I were and I didn't tag people I would be cursed to wear pink shirts. :)

Here's my tag list Anto, Nalini, Sheela, Bunty and wannabauthor

My Happy B'day, Long ago, Not so long ago, Now!

Today is my Happy B'day!!!
23rd to be precise:)

Thank you, Thank you (In case, you are wishin' me in your minds)

Anyway, I wanted to write this post as a reminiscence of my B'day celebrations that have changed over the years.

 In primary school, I used to wait the whole year for this day so that I can wear new colorful clothes to school, instead of the same old boring uniform. An addon to the excitement were the sweets that I used to distribute in class. Till 4th standard, I used to distribute Dairy Milk chocolates to my whole class, whereas the other children used to distribute koka naka, coffee bite types. I remember once a little glutton even reminded me, "Hey, you are getting dairy milk this time also, right?", He enquired. As though if I get some other chocolate, I'll be banned from school. :) Anyway, I didn't want to break his heart or others' so I followed the tradition that year also. The next year, I came to my senses and gave koka naka :D

Then came high school, the time when people realised its uncool to wear new clothes to school and do the whole drama of singing B'day song and stuff. So we used to smirk at primary children and not celebrate at school. That was a boring time. Of course, there was the mandatory treat friends would demand, I used to bow down to them and treat them in the corner shop that sells pani puri, bhel puri and stuff like that owing to the financial crunch. No one gives you more than 100 bucks in high school. Atleast when I went there.

And along came college, a whole new world opened, no need to wear uniform, daily colorful clothes, So the concept of wearing new clothes lost its sheen but then there were other things to look forward to. Everyone had a brand new bike, and so when someone's b'day comes, then everyone hops on, gets a small cake and expects a huuuge treat. One more condition, We had to go somewhere far off to celebrate. Of course, as a flashback the B'day girl would have pleaded at home for a 1000 bucks atleast. Anyway, It was fun.

Now, that I'm working, its a reverse process. I bunked office, slept four hrs more than usual, and took my family out for lunch. I think I'm growin' old!

Life's Most FAQ

I wake up,
I walk the path,
The path trodden by one, by all,
The path I don't want to go on,
but I have to,
You see, My feet are tied,
My hands are too,
I'm restless,
I'm suffocating,

On my way, I'm blackmailed, I'm bullied,
I'm hurt, I'm dying inside,
but all the while,
I have a smile on my face,
A fake one,
When I reach the destination,
I feel,
Is it worth the walk?
Did I have a choice?
Could I have taken the path less trodden?

The Misunderstood 9 to 5 Routine

I always thought of myself as someone who can-NOT handle a 9 to 5 routine. Now, its been almost 7 months and I'm proving myself wrong daily. I used to think it was cool to look up to the sky, make a somewhat artsy-eccentric expression like they do in the movies and say, "I'm not the 9 to 5 type, I'm different". I've heard many people say it, and I have to admit it does sound cool. After all, who doesn't want to not work for 9 hrs a day, and still earn enough dough. But still, after a lot of thought I came up with a few things which do prove that the 9 to 5 job is better than working from home. Here are some:

Number 1
You wake up in the morning. If you are someone like me, you need a place to go. You can't go the movies daily, can you? You'll be broke in two days, considering the price of tickets these days and also there won't be many worthwhile movies playing, so go the office and create your own drama. Escalate unnecessary issues, see how they'll be further escalated and hence, may result in a meeting, which will lead to discussions, just add some oil to the fire when someone is complaining about something in the meeting. Stop there, sit back and relax. Sadly, popcorn is not allowed.

Number 2
When you are at home, you will be constantly nagged by your mom, dad, spouse or whoever. You may be a   bestselling author of some Hinglish book, but is your mom/spouse bothered 'bout it when you are lying on the sofa watching TV while you brainstorm in yourself, NO! They start yelling, calling you useless, and you may also invite yourself the trouble of doing, "chores" around the house. Do you want it? I didn't think so. Instead, do the same "Brainstorming" in front of your computer in the office. Does anyone care? No! They think you are probably stressed and they may actually tell you to take some time off.

Number 3
You don't like what your mom has prepared at home, you maybe thinking, "Oh God! I can't eat Sambar rice again! Nooooooooooooo!", but on the face, you have to maintain a pleasant expression so that your mom doesn't get the feeling that you are irritated, because once she does, there will be endless yellings about how her work goes unappreciated and suchlike. But when you go to office, when you are bored of home food, you can tell your mom to not pack dabba and take rest. You can convince her that you'll "adjust" by eating outside for one day, albeit with a believable expression on your face and you'll be showered with sympathy. Yes, you will:)

Number 4
At home, who can you gossip about? The only people you see will be your mom, dad, sibling and maybe your pet. Who's interested in them? You may hear something about your neighbours' affairs if you stick your ear to the wall, but isn't it unwanted stress to your body. But in the office, you can simply sit in your place, and all the gossip just comes floooooooowing in. Your talkative cabin-mate, the one on the opposite side talking endlessly on the phone, two people to the left cntinuously fighting. There is no end, literally. If it ever comes to an end, just mention your boss' name and that will do the job.

Number 5
Last but not the least, while getting entertained so much, you'll actually be PAID!

So what say, which one is better?